彼のメモ帳 His Memo Pad
by recchinon
Summary: Kare no Memochou / His Memo Pad: Narumi had so many things to ask from Ayaka. Also, there were so many things he needed to tell her. She would open her eyes, he believed it. He would do anything, he would give anything as long as she woke up. He would sacrifice anything—everything—for her. Little did he knew that the day she opened her eyes, another storm is coming.


-Prologue: His Wish-

"Hey, Fujishima, are you free?"

The boy paused to turn and looked at his grinning classmate. He wondered what was his name again, Yamada? Yamaguchi? Even after three months, he still couldn't remember his new classmates' name, saved for some of them who were from the same class with him before. It was a gift that despite how plain he was, the boys in his class always seemed to be eager to hang out with him. It would change though if they know that the dark brown haired boy didn't actually even remember their surname.

"Oh c'mon... It is a _goukon _you know, man!" The boy with messy blonde hair grinned as he put his arm around Narumi in a friendly manner, he stuck out his little finger, "let's go and get some girl!"

Narumi smiled apologitically. He felt bad when he saw how excited the other boy was but to attend a goukon was not possible. He was about to turn it down when another guy showed up. He was from the same class with him during the first year so he knew his name despite they never really talked before. Kawamura Shintarou, wasn't it?

"Oi, Yamagawa!" so it was really not 'Yamaguchi', "leave Fujishima alone, he has something else to do!" Kawamura gave him an understanding look, "Right, Fujishima? You can go... Send my regard to her!"

Narumi nodded and smiled as he walked outside the classroom. He was glad because apparently Kawamura knew that he had no time for such thing like _goukon_ right now. He had part time with those NEETs and also...

"Send your regard to _who?_"

He could hear faintly Yamagawa asked Kawamura as he left the classroom.

"Ah right, you don't know about _them._"

"_Them_? Wait a minute, Fujishima had a girlfriend? Oh man! How lucky, and here I am thinking he is not interested in girls, so that's why..."

"Well, it's special condition though..."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"The girl, Ayaka, is in commatose. She hasn't waken up since last year."

"What? So... she is..."

"He is visiting her in the hospital, almost every single day since that day."

"What happened to her?"

"She jumped off of the school roof top."

.

It has been ten months. Narumi had long accepted the fact that she would never respond him whenever he sat next to her bed, telling her any stories he knew, about school, about Hanamaru, about everything. He would tell her about the cases he had been solving with Alice and the other, telling her that he had gotten better as Alice's right hand. He knew she wouldn't respond but he didn't lose his hope. He knew, she would wake up. She would open her eyes once more and once again show him her precious smile.

He held her hand with both his hands, treasuring her warmth. She was alive. Her hair was longer now, framing her pale cheek, in his eyes, she looked so fragile like this, yet so beautiful. He was so scared that she would actually leave him so he would take her hand and hold it in his bigger ones. She felt warm. Warm and alive, despite her condition, and he was thankful for that. He could never imagine how he would live if something happened to her... No, he would never live if it happened.

"So this guy, Yamakawa wants me to go to a goukon with him, but you know how bad I am with things like that," he laughed softly, "besides, I would rather sit here with you. I haven't seen you for three days since we were kind of busy at Hanamaru lately... I miss you..."

Before, it would be embarrassing for him to acknowledge this feeling. To tell her that he missed him. Hell, he had never missed her before. He couldn't because she had always been there with him. Even when she was angry, she would have been there. She had been dragging him with her, she helped him to see a new world. She would smile at him and show him how to have fun. How to actually enjoy his life. Now that he thought about it, he had taken her for granted. He had taken her smile for granted. Because it had been so natural, for her to be there—to smile—he never thought that one day, he would lose her—her smile.

He would never have imagined that one day, he would lose her smile. That one day, he would be in a position where he would give up anything—even his life—just to see her smile once again. He blamed himself because he had failed to recognize her problem—her feeling she kept inside. He had failed to recognize his own feeling. Now he felt like an idiot because those people were right, you would never know how much it means until you lose it.

He learnt, that he would never knew what tomorrow brings so he realized that he needed to be honest to himself—to his own feeling. It was kind of pathethic though, because now that he could admit it—and say it out loud—she couldn't respond. Could she even hear whatever thing he said?

"I miss you, Ayaka, I really really miss you," he hissed, it had been three days since the last time he saw her and he had really missed her, he couldn't imagine what would happen to him if he had to lose her forever. He didn't even want to think about it, "please, wake up... Don't you miss me? I..." he tried to find the right word to describe his feeling but he couldn't. He wanted to say it but his voice was suddenly gone.

_What am I to you?_

He wanted to know, what she thought about him. Before she jumped off the roof, he had been wondering the same question. Her brother told him that he was just a replacement. She was seeking for her brother in him. It pained him when he learned about that from her brother, that she didn't really care about him. He was only a replacement. At the time he didn't even remember why it felt like that. Why he didn't want her to think of him as a replacement of her brother. Why he wanted to be special...

He was not a replacement. She told him that. She cried and told him that he meant something to hee, but she still jumped off of the roof. Leaving him and the Gardening Club. _She jumped off from this place because this place was important for both of you, it was her way to protect her sanctuary—your sanctuary. _Alice told him that for Ayaka, he meant alot for her, maybe as much as she meant for him. But still... Why did she leave him like this?

Narumi brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently when a nurse came into the room and reminding him that the time was up. He needed to leave for today. He smiled and nodded at the older woman before he turned to see Ayaka one last time for today. The nurse smiled sadly as she watched the boy murmured something to the girl before he kissed her forehead gently, a routine that had given a bitter-sweet feeling to her everytime she witnessed it.

"Fujishima-kun!"

Narumi just about to open the door when the nurse called him. He stopped and turned around to look at the older woman questioningly.

"Uhm... You know," she smiled a bit awkwardly, "She would wake up. You believe it, don't you?"

For a second Narumi was confused by the question but then he chuckled, "Yes of course..." He smiled and looked at Ayaka once again before bowed at the nurse and left the room.

.

Narumi had so many things to ask from Ayaka. Also, there were so many things he needed to tell her. She would open her eyes, he believed it. He would do anything, he would give anything as long as she woke up. He would sacrifice anything—everything—for her.

Ayaka was very important for him and he wanted nothing than to see her smile once again. She would wake up and that day, when she finally opened her eyes, he would tell her—this time he wouldn't hesitate—about his true feeling for her.

Little did he knew that the day she opened her eyes, another storm is coming.

.

.

Author's note:

I was surprised that there was so little KamiMemo fanfics here and no NaruAya fanfic. I am so sad. So here I am with new fanfic :D 

I am not sure that there would be people reading it, but since I am writing this for my own satisfaction, I guess it doesn't matter even if nobody read this.


End file.
